What's your favorite line of the month?

1. Drove kids to Massachusettes this month to visit two sets of Grandparents.
2. Air Force Communications Workshop coordinator - huge success.
3. Drive two to Massachusettes -- arrived exhausted.
4. Blew 60 watt fuses in the heater/AC system.
5. Paid $60 to be told I didn't trip the breaker all the way.
6. Nodded off only an hour into trip home with boys.
7. Stopped for night early afternoon got in two good naps before checking out before midnight.
8. Two naps cost three charges of $100 each on my debit card.
9. Idiot manager at Comfort Inn.
10. Competent sales director at Comfort Inn.
11. USAA thought Comfort Inn manager was an idiot too.
12. Bacon, cheese and eggwhite omlets are yum. Don't judge.
13. Good friends made it possible to go on temporary duty in San Antonio: Mike, Heather and Julie.
14. Julie made video of Judy's limp.
15. Judy is my dog I nickname JuJu.
16. Heather sat JuJu first, before her dental surgery.
17. Doing lunch with Heather tomorrow.
18. Picked JuJu up last night, busted kids bedtime.
19. Edward loves to nap in car.
20. Zachary won't stop talking in car.
21. "If Daddy's not here to protect you, I will and if I'm not here to protect you, Edward will. I love you, Mom, so much," said Zachary.
22. It didn't make me cry, I had tears rolling down my cheeks before that.
23. Motivated to become potential bone marrow donor.
24. Zachary says the things I told him is 80 percent processed, he's still "typing" what adopted means in his mind.
25. Crosswalk complex discovered between Market Square and Riverwalk. Gitty over diagonal crosswalks.
26. Blinking man bad, blinking hand bad, solid man bad.
27. It's nice to be needed, but my phone wouldn't stop ringing.
28. Came home to a freezing house at 5:30 a.m.
29. RAGE. I hate being cold.
30. Bought two packs of fuses at Home Depot.
31. Lectured by home depot man that fuses are hard to come by in the spring.
32. Visited with Grandfather, he survived lunch with the great grandsons.
33. Wonders why there are pillows stacked on top of the step stool in the kitchen right now as I write this.
34. JuJu hurt her paw upon transfer from Heather to Julie.
35. Julie posted picture of JuJu on Facebook.
36. Heather's last blog post is old.
37. Can't figure out why MY mail key won't work, but the spare Mike has does.
38. Thankful the drip in the bathroom is gone.
39. Entertaining the idea of a bathroom rennovation party.
40. Car goes to shop AGAIN tomorrow.
41. Paying off two debts tomorrow.
42. Found blue hairspray to be Marge.
43. Loves the electric blanket.
44. Misses JG terribly.
45. Indy, the snake, is hungry.
46. Bought a wool coat. It's cream colored. Matched brown or black shoes.
47. Lost an earing back. JG bought me more already.
48. Suitcases still aren't unpacked.
49. Car inspection due. Oil change due. Due for wipers.
50. Commented on 30 blog posts. Hope it makes people smile.
51. I have three Halloween costumes.
52. Raynauds turned my right elbow blue too.
53. Zachary has ringworm. Luckily it's not a real worm. I looked it up.
54. Forgot how much I love quiche.
55. Will only eat sausage pizza with bacon. It's a texture thing.
56. "NO!" to Zach's question of "Do you miss my birth dad?"
57. Blended lattes at Cold Stone suck.
58. Wait staff at Boudros sucked twice.
59. Almost forgot to pay the mortgage.
60. DTS worked. Weird. (Defense Travel System)
61. Lost every Mortal Kombat game except one ... a nearly flawless victory. I rock.
62. JG has Halloween care package waiting on him. Hope he gets back to his deployment home base soon!
63. Admired her seamstress friend Liz's handiwork.
64. Bought a bag of dark chocolate Saturday and there's more than half left still. ODD.
65. Hates pre-made breakfast sandwiches at rest stop Burger King.
66. Can't figure out why they don't make biscut sandwiches at the rest stops.
67. Upset the gasoline pump operators didn't wash her windsheid.
68. Zachary stepped on my bad ankle as I was tucking him in this week.
69. Became a Mary Kay consultant ... in it for the discount, their skin care is amazing.
70. Irriated Starbucks at rest stops aren't open 24 hours.
71. Started preferring dunkin donuts coffee again.
72. More than 400 hits on our blog since we started keeping track.
73. Ate half a jar of mini sweet pickles as a snack at work.
74. PFB, you know who you are, witnessed my success against Adobe.
75. Still haven't played my voice messages from last week.
76. Gray is not natural. I don't care how old you are.
77. Salon employee told me she "liked my shape" asked if I needed a brazilian and offered me wine.
78. FEDEXKINKOS open 24 hrs. Pay attention Starbucks! 6 a.m. is too late for hard core road tripests.
79. Flat boots can be sexy.
80. Lamb chops. Mmmmmmm. The accompained red wine went to waste. Bitter bites.
81. Blockout new game addiction.
82. Pulled Professional Development Guide into plain view.
83. Excited I found the honeymoom photos.
84. OfficeDepot closes at 6 p.m. on Sundays. They suck too.

Feeling KRABby, thinking ahead ...

Kirkuk Regional Air Base, or KRAB, has to be one of the worst names for an installation ever. "Where ya headed?" "Oh, I've got KRAB." Or for the more insulting, K-RAB (rhymes with Ahab, as in the captain) and is used by the same type of folks who call our "A-Rab" hosts "Ragheads." Ah, tolerance, understanding and partnership. Then again, I was stationed at Seymour Johnson ...

Kirkuk is home to one of the places where Americans are training Iraqi pilots so *their* air force can protect *their* airspace and we can get the heck outta Dodge. We covered this mission at Camp Taji (thesergeantsbuzz.blogspot.com/2009/07/so-this-is-what-iraq-is-like.html) except with helicopters. Here they're flying Cessnas for intel gathering and some other stuff. Some people fly Cessnas for fun or even in races. In high school, my orthodontist took me up in his Cessna. Wonder if he knows he could be a pilot with the Iraqi air force if that making six figures a year in Southern California doesn't pan out ...

On the whole, Kirkuk is pretty nice. It's one of the places where we'll be drawing down troops sooner rather than later. Progress! It's a lot like Taji in that the mission and attitude is focued on getting Iraqi training programs up and running so we can leave and not come back. People here aren't burned out and bitter like in Baghdad. We aren't shelled daily like in Balad AKA "Mortar-itaville." Where's the salt ...

It's still really nice to have a break from the rigors of deployment, however, and we had a great visit from the USO this week. They brought a bunch of cartoonists on a tour through the Middle East and stopped by here. They were all really nice and went out of their way to talk to Airmen and Soldiers stationed here. It ended up being a fantastic experience for me for a few reasons. One, I got a really good story out of it (www.kirkuk.afcent.af.mil/news/story.asp?id=123173934). Two, Rick Kirkman, who draws "Baby Blues" did some drawings for the family - Hammie with a lightsaber for Zachary and Hammie holding Yoshi for Edward; Darryl and Wanda for me and Jennifer ...

But I've also decided on what I'd like to do once I get out of the Air Force. I've long been a fan of the USO and what they do to support military members and their families. And on these tours, they bring photographers and entertainment directors to make sure everything is taken care of for the celebrities who come out to help us forget, if only for a little while, that we're in a war zone. So I think I want to be one of those guys. Working for the USO would have its own rewards and I'd still be doing the writing, photography, media and community relations kinds of things I enjoy in the Air Force. Of course, that's not for another 12 years or so. But it's nice to have an idea of what I want to do once I get promoted to the rank of civilian ...

The three hats I wear ...

The message on the screen offered a ‘thank you’ for choosing to watch a movie in their theater. As if there’s another choice. But here at Joint Base Balad, Iraq (because it would hurt the feelings of the other services if continued to just call it Balad Air Base … and don’t get me started about the new “Joint Base Andrews Naval Air Station”), I actually did get to sit in a real movie theater and eat real movie theater popcorn with real movie theater popcorn butter. Or “butter,” as it were. Now if only I could have watched a real movie instead of the predictable and trite “Surrogates,” starring Bruce Willis and playing at a theater near you. Unless you’re deployed, in which case it’s only playing at *the* movie theater …

So we’re back in the ‘raq to cover a couple of missions. Of all the things that make this assignment difficult, the traveling is the worst. Well, that’s not entirely true. The being away from home is the hardest part, obviously. But the hardest part of the actual job is the traveling. Being in a variety of countries and working with lots of different people is cool, but the actual flying part takes its toll. It routinely takes us an entire day, if not more, to get anywhere from our home base. Not because the places are so far away, but because air transportation is so unpredictable and prone to outright cancelation. And here I thought BWI was bad …

What it does give is a lot of downtime either waiting in the passenger terminal or on the long flight itself, where, because space is so cramped, you’re absolutely glad they use Dial. Because of the limited number of flights at any given time, most of them are packed with people, cargo or both. Reading is difficult because there aren’t exactly overhead lights. There’s no beverage service either, unless the loadmaster is good enough to say, “Hey, Dude, you want a water? It’s in the cooler over there,” but even that is the exception rather than the rule. We’re allowed to bring our own food and drinks, but there really isn’t much room for more than a single bottle of water for the entire five-hour-plus flight when you’re carrying your helmet, body armor, rifle, pistol, ammo for both, first aid kit, bag of clothes, bag of work stuff, partridge in a pear tree …

So with all the downtime, there’s lots of time to think, reflect, daydream, ponder, reverie, fantasize, recall, imagine, consider and muse about all sorts of things. Like, for example, all the words you can come up with that are synonyms for “think.” Also gives time to remember how much you miss your wife and kids. And because we’re traveling every other week, if not more, there’s a lot of time for that missing. My pal Tech. Sgt. Joseph Kapinos (read his blog at combatcorrespondent.blogspot.com/) recently lamented on how he’ll explain to his daughter the time he missed watching her grow up. I’ll be honest; I wonder how Jennifer and I will be able to justify all our time deployed away from our boys. “Wonder” … missed that one …

At home I see myself wearing three hats – Husband, Dad and Airman. It’s the requirements of the my Airman that has me literally wearing three hats out here -- one for each of the uniforms I wear, depending on the mission. All those hats and uniforms make it a real pain to pack. Especially when I’m trying to bring some extra snacky snacks along for the flight and can’t fit them in my bag …

But I also know that it’s because of that Airman hat that I’m able to provide for my family and wear the other two. Conversely, it’s wearing the Dad and Husband hats that make me a better Airman, I think. And though I’ve been an Airman a lot longer than I’ve been a husband and a father, I’m finding my priorities have changed dramatically in life. No more thoughts about bases or assignments I wanted to apply for that would take me all over the world and away from home. Not now that I share my home with someone other than my snake. Or rather, OUR snake. And OUR home. OUR dog. OUR television. OUR bed. HER kitchen, but I don’t mind that so much. Besides, MY PlayStation …

But I don’t have the answer as to how we explain why we have to be away so often. We haven’t told the boys yet about Jennifer’s looming deployment next year. I just hope that she’s assigned to a specific base and doesn’t have to travel as much as I do. Jennifer’s idea of packing for a trip involves at least five bags. And that’s just for overnight …

For now, however, it’s mind on the mission and not how much I’d rather be having lightsaber fights with the boys, playing Scrabble with Jennifer or doing anything together as a family. Can’t dwell on missing them while we’re out on a patrol in an Iraqi village. “Dwell” … that’s another one I missed …

Edward

Edward and Coral got 'married' sometime last year. They go to the same daycare together. Edward just turned five last month and started Kindergarten. He's a 'klubmate' in the before and after school program so he doesn't get to see Coral as much anymore. Edward was so excited when he saw Coral's mom last week and told her about the note I put on Coral's cubbie and that Coral would need her pajamas for the play date. (I think this is the only age I'll be able to laugh at that.)

Saturday, the boys and I met Coral's whole family at a nearby elementary school to play. Edward had a blast showing off on the monkey bars and avoiding the 'lava' while Coral ran around saying Edward was her true love and that she was a princess. When it was time to say goodbye, Edward reciprocated the mint Coral had given him at their greeting with Goldfish. He opened the mini bag of crackers by himself. The bag was ripped too far and I knew that he knew it was going to make a mess. After handing the bag to Coral he reached into our truck, literally pulled out half a box of tissues and handed it to Coral's mom. "Just incase," he said.

Tonight Edward had a karate test. He earned his yellow belt which means he's proficient at three defensive measures. The tests are very private and I couldn't observe him. After his test we waited about 20 minutes for Zachary's class to be over and Edward still had enough leftover energy to run up and down the sidewalk repeatedly. I suspect they could drill him harder next time.

Speaking of time, Edward knows that his Daddy comes home right after Christmas. The last couple of weeks he's stopped asking when Daddy comes home and instead has asked how long it is until Christmas.

Karate seems to be helping Edward pass the time. And when he's not obsessing over his new Spiderman alphabet writing workbook, riding his new bike or lining up his cars in a perfectly straight line he's either watching or playing a video game.

Edward is absolutely fascinated with the Ghostbusters video game. It plays out like the third movie that never got made, so I'm told. He watched Daddy play it and win right before he deployed in June. JG had a Ghostbusters patch made for Edward and put it in a package that arrived this week for the boys.

The awesomeness of the patch wore off quick as Edward realized Daddy sent 'cereal.' A box of Fruity Pebbles, and one each individual servings of Fruit Loops, Cocoa Puffs and Apple Jacks. I hate sugary cereal. I grew up on plain Cheerios, Crispix, Kix, Shredded Wheat, and Corn, Wheat and Rice Chex. And Daddy knows I refuse to buy the 'good' stuff for the boys.

Edward loves being told he is a good listener and that Daddy and I are proud of him. Tonight it was easy to give him praise. He had taken the four boxes of Capri Suns (only 100% juice in this house) and put them in the fridge. Then, Edward said he was going to put he empty boxes in the recycling bin for me outside in the shed. He came in and got four drinks out of the fridge and laid each on a coaster in a perfect row on the end table. I'm guessing he got the fourth one for Daddy. Edward also keeps checking the freezer to make sure the two birthday cupcakes are in there for Daddy.

The new five-year-old got ready for bed without being coached and was satisfied with one bedtime story. Zachary was out cold for the night before I had even went in their room to tuck them in. Edward looked over at Zachary and said if Zachary was sick in the morning that Zachary could stay home with me and he would go to school like a big boy.

Awe.

Back in black ...

If someone attempts to stab me with a pen, but I succeessfully deflect it, would that be ... a writer's block ...

Sigh. I know. Who still writes with pens? But I've been finding it increasingly difficult to write over the last couple of weeks. I think it's been a mixture of the doldrums of being deployed, dealing with issues back home and whatever other excuse I might be able to come up with. Fortunately, a change of scenery has helped. Right now we're in a country I'd never visited before, covering missions I've never written about. But there's always gotta be something that goes wrong. I think it's a law or something ...

After working through some of the initial job-related difficulties (we're not exactly seeing eye-to-eye with the local public affairs office and we're not allowed to drive ourselves anywhere) we were able to meet up with the flying squadrons here "at a location somewhere in Southwest Asia." The other guys on the team have been able to get flights on the refuelers here, but I've spent my time hanging out with the guys who fly U-2s and Global Hawks. They've been really helpful and even let me go with them in the chase car a couple of times as U-2s would launch or land. In fact, here's the intro to my story about the U-2 mission ...

With or Without You knowing, Airmen are on The Fly at the highest Elevation over areas Where the Streets Have no Name as pilots take great Pride in their Desire to fight Vertigo or become Numb and keep One Beautiful Day from turning Bad, because Sometimes You Can’t Make it On Your Own and rather than troops having to Walk On or Running to Stand Still, these aviators Stay for A Sort Of Homecoming, because although Some Days are Better than Others it’s still better than a Sunday Bloody Sunday. Zooropa.

Okay, not really. But it's what I *wanted* to write. Instead I wrote about a captain flying his first mission out here and another story about why the reconnaissance squadron is important. I even was able to borrow a camera to take some pictures, which was nice since mine is still broken. I loathe only being able to do one aspect of my job. That's my biggest complaint about my time out here. Except for like, the being away from my family and in a war zone part ...

There are two things going on with my time at this base though:

1) I'm excited to write again

2) I'm reminded of why I enjoy being in the Air Force

I'm pretty happy with the two stories I've written here so far and have plans for a couple more. So it's nice to be out of that funk. But also it's been great working with the people here. The folks at the 99th Expeditionary Reconnaissance Squadron have outright said "Hey, you're part of the squadron while you're here," and they've bent over backward to help me. The majority of the people in the Air Force really make this more than just a job and something I like being a part of. That and getting to tear down an open runway in a sports car at 90 miles an hour is just awesome ...

So between having cool things to write about and working with people who make my job worthwhile, I feel like I've got my groove back. The trip to this base has been pretty good for the most part - decent Internet, good mission, a room with a bed, not getting shot at. Not sure where we're headed next, but wherever it is, I'm looking forward to it. My only hope is that I'll be looking forward to it through the viewfinder of my camera and not one I have to borrow ...