First Impressions

I've had an eventful weekend. Yesterday I decided to take the truck into Spokane because it has the really nice snow tires and I love my truck. It was snowing HARD, and it was so warm I swear there was 8 inches of slush on the road. After dropping Zach off at Sylvan, Edward, Baby Michael and I went to ToysRus to get a birthday present for Edward's friend Max.

On the way back to pick up Zachary, the truck spun out of control while I was traveling I-90 East. Luckily no one was near me. We skidded. The second Edward felt the truck slip he SCREAMED at the top of his lungs, and was crying and kept SCREAMING. We "landed" facing oncoming traffic in the far left lane. I went to turn the truck around and nothing. The truck was completely locked up - how the heck did I blow the transmission?

Through Edward's screaming and crying I shouted at him to keep his seatbelt on. "Why, will I die?"

Very matter of fact I replied "Yes, Edward, if you take that seatbelt off and we get hit by a car you could die, so please keep it on."

Which only begged more screaming and crying as I'm calling 9-1-1 to get a police car out there. (I did tell them I had an infant and a 7-year-old with me, hoping they'd move faster.) Not many cars were driving in the far left lane, but it was evident when they saw me ... a few close calls happened while waiting for a policeman to hopefully keep our lane clear until a tow truck could come.

How the heck did I blow the transmission?

After the third near miss from an oncoming car I decided we couldn't stay in the truck like sitting ducks. I dialed the only person in our office who lived in Spokane Valley .... and then someone stopped in the middle lane, threw on his hazards and ran over to us.

"Is anyone hurt?"

"No, we're fine."

"I'm going to stop traffic so you can turn around."

"I can't move, the truck is locked up. I don't know what happened to it."

"Hit the gas, let me listen."

"The gas is all the way to the floor, nothing."

"Put it in reverse."

"Nothing."

"Is it running? Try starting it ......... no no, you need to be in park first."

And then, my truck started.

"Ok, pull forward a bit, let's make sure it goes."

It did.

Superdude stopped the only moving lane on the highway while I turned around and got to the shoulder. Snow had completely caked all my windows and I couldn't see. It was then I noticed the little red pickup in the ditch, and what looked to be blood spatter on the windshield. Did this person go off the road and die because of me?

With Edward unconscionable and still screaming at the top of his lungs I approached the truck. The door swings open and I see the red puffy face of a teenage girl.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

The 'blood spatter' was the shadow from her crazy ponytail. "Did you hit your head?" Only then noticing that her truck had been stopped by deep snow, nothing else.

"No."

"How long have you been here?"

"About 15 minutes."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

Superdude flies over. I run back to the truck to try and comfort Edward again. This time him and the baby are crying. "Stop leaving me. We're going to die. Michael is crying. You need to feed him now or he's going to die."

I was hugging him, telling him it was okay, but nothing I said was going to matter. I brushed the snow off the truck, we merged back on the hwy and we were only two blocks away from Zachary when a light turned red as we were going up a massive hill. When it turned green, we were stuck. After being stuck for 10 minutes there was finally a commercial vehicle behind me. I jumped out and ran over.

"I've been stuck for ten minutes, I have an infant in the back seat and I can't be here all day. I have snow tires, but there's no grip - even when I've been able to back up a foot or two I can't get moving forward."

"Is it in 4-wheel drive?"

"No. I don't have 4-wheel drive."

"Oh."

"Yeah. It sucks. I'm open to suggestions here. I really need your help."

"Well, if I could see, I'd back up to let you turn onto 28th. Can you drive backwards?"

"Well yeah. In that case, there's only one, no, he just changed lanes. You're clear now."

"Ok."

"Thanks!"

We got to Zachary's slyvan. Edward was still panicked from earlier. He begged me to let him get Zachary out early. We were early by about five minutes so I said sure.

Edward comes running back to the truck and about two minutes later Zachary come out. He's got a goofy grin on his face. "Mom, what was that all about?"

"What do you mean?"

"Edward comes into Sylvan and shouts to everyone 'Is there a Zachary Gregoire in here? The sidewalks are wet. We've got to go.' Then leaves."

Edward is now upset because he's hungry. I figure a snack for then would be good to keep them quiet on the way home. We stop at the Starbucks around the corner. I ask Edward if he wants to go in with me. He starts screaming and tells me not to abandon him again. He refuses to go in with me. I say fine. A minute later Edward joins me. We get our snacks then we make it home without anything else happening.

Today, our new Airman arrived at Fairchild so I invited him over for dinner. Not more than two minutes after picking him up I was driving by the clinic looked down and realized I was going 40 mph. I don't talk and drive very well at the same time. I realized it, slowed down in time to realize there was a cop car nearby. And yes, I got pulled over.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"Yes. I was speeding. I can't talk and drive at the same time. I was giving a windshield tour to my new
Airman here and realized I was speeding. Did you catch me going 40?"

"No, I caught you going 35 then accelerating to 39."

When he comes back with my papers he says. "No ticket today. I was studying when it started beeping. Slow down."

"Thank you!"

What a way to make a first impression.

Pearl and Poison Ivy Green

Today I finally broke down and got artificial gel nails. The last time I had this done was when I was in NCO Academy last year. Shortly after coming home I was pregnant and I thought with all the prenatal vitamins on my side I could maintain healthy natural nails. After a year of trying, I gave up. All too often I'd have a perfect natural even set manicured just to have a nail break. And then another and then another. Yep, I'm done. I love pretty nails. My tips are 'pearl' so it's not so harsh of a French with the bright white. Plus, with the tips there's less gel so these are thinner - only slightly more thick than my actual nail. My friend Cheyenne went with me and got a pedicure so when baby Michael needed attention she had the free hands while I was tied up. My nail tech was so efficient I even had time to get a 'quick and easy' pedi before Cheyenne was finished with hers. I have such a beautiful green on my toes - it's not as metallic as emerald, it's more of a bright vegetation green that I dubbed poison ivy.

I really enjoyed my long weekend. I got my grocery shopping knocked out Friday night and was able to get a head start on cooking for the weekend. I took advantage of extra time to skype with JG - the baby is absolutely fascinated with JG's image on the screen and the sound of his voice. I was able to buy baby clothes, a mobile for the crib and some other baby odds and ends while Zachary went to Sylvan. I bought a new chef knife at a Pampered Chef  party. Then friends came over for character creation for a new Star Wars role playing game that we'll start soon. I cooked homemade spaghetti sauce for a low-carb pasta bake then whipped up brownies from scratch served with haagen das vanilla. Mmmmm. The next day I met with my trainer. Again, I walked away exhausted and with a new favorite exercise I hate. I lost two pounds in the last two weeks. Although weight loss isn't my goal (being able to do push ups IS) it felt good to know that my Wii Fit finally stopped effing with me. After my workout I went shopping with my friend Heather and her teenage daughter with Michael in tow. I took advantage of triple points at Best Buy.


Today was a quiet day - I spent most of it studying for my next online senior NCO test called a course 14. I only left the house to get my nails doneThere was some strained relations happening with my family back home this week. Sometimes I really don't think they realize how lucky they are to be so close to one another.

Took a nap with Michael. Woke up to find my Edward crashed out on the new papazan chair. This was one of four special I love you presents from JG since he's been gone. The first was an ipod and I've got flowers at work twice. Once marking a combination I love you, happy birthday, first day back at work and promotion congratulations. The other marked Valentine's Day.

I miss JG so much. We were getting really close to 40 percent through this deployment based on his deployed calculator. I'm trying to stay a busy as I can to pass the time.

Hitting my 10-year anniversary in the Air Force

Ten years ago, I couldn't wait to see the new "Star Wars" movie. So naturally, that's what I focused on during that fateful bus ride on my way to begin basic military training. Thinking about lightsaber fights and epic space battles distracted me from second guessing this life-changing decision.

But here I am, 10 years later, celebrating this milestone during my fourth deployment to the Middle East. Like many Americans, I, too, joined the military as a result of 9/11. At the time, I was in my mid-20s with little to show for it and even less ambition in life.

All that changed on a bitter February morning, when a group of us discovered a thing or two about motivation when the booming voice of a military training instructor bellowed out "Move! Move! Move!" as we stumbled out of the bus as quickly as we could.

The next few weeks of our lives were dominated by a "sense of urgency," moving "with a purpose" and avoiding being "lacksidaisical."

That's not even a word!

Of course, I wasn't going to correct the grammar of the tall, skinny staff sergeant with the wide-brimmed hat and thick Southern accent. After all, he'd made a point of figuring out how to pronounce my last name, and the first thing you learn in basic training is don't give the instructors any more reason to pay "special attention" to you than necessary.

It was the first lesson of many more to come during my first decade in the in the Air Force. So on this anniversary, I find myself reflecting on what else I've learned over the last 10 years. After all, we learn how to be Airmen from our peers, coworkers and supervisors. Each person we meet sets an example - both good and bad - of the kind of professional we strive to emulate or avoid.

But rather than focusing on the few bad apples, I've been thinking about the people who stand out as my role models and some of what they've taught me about being an Airman:

I learned what it means to be a leader among peers from an Airman in my sister flight at BMT and then again in my class during technical training school. Since day one, she's always dedicated herself to the point where she doesn't just excel at everything she does, she also makes it look easy.

At my first duty station, my first supervisor demanded excellence and insisted I give my best every day. He was quick to critique when something was wrong, but quicker with praise when something was right.

Your rank doesn't dictate your capability or how you treat other people, one of our lieutenants showed me. He was more interested in leading by example than micromanaging our days.

The captain in charge of our office trusted and believed in me, the best kind of inspiration an officer can give a young Airman. He once told me that people will never forget if you give them the opportunity to save face when they've made a mistake.

A captain I worked with during my second assignment insisted that confidence is just as important as competence, and your reputation comes from both. When we deployed together, he made sure everyone in the office knew their value to the mission. How he maintains his humility, I'll never know.

I learned that we're responsible for our own careers from a senior NCO who kept a jar of nails on his desk (the rumor was he was so tough he'd eat them for breakfast). If there's something you want, he'd often say, you have to be proactive. No one is going to hand you opportunities; you have to find them and you have to earn them.

And then one day came a revelation.

When I started dating (and eventually married) a fellow Airman, she helped me realize all those lessons weren't just about becoming a better Airman myself.

Leadership and dedication, critique and praise, trust and respect, honor and inspiration, attitude and aptitude, responsibility and drive also make us better spouses, better parents and better people.

I've also come to appreciate that the Air Force we're in now isn't "ours." It belongs to our replacements. That's why it's not just enough to learn from our mentors; we have to actually apply those lessons.

Every day is an opportunity to show your quality.

And unless you share knowledge with others, it's a finite resource that only exists as long as you're around.

Your legacy is the impact you have on others, so I hope I've passed something positive along to my fellow Airmen and my three sons. After all, I've benefitted a great deal from my mentors these 10 years.

And while being deployed can get overwhelming at times, one of the things that distracts me from missing my family is looking forward to watching movies together when I get home. First on the list, "Star Wars."

Averting Meltdown

I've been back at work two weeks. Michael is always one of the first babies dropped off and almost always the last baby to be picked up. Pumping to keep up with him is a never-ending battle ... Friday he was just dropped off with empty bottles for formula because he had nursed so many times after we got home Thursday night, through the night and into the morning. At his eight-week appointment he had gained nearly four pounds since his previous visit. He now weighs more than thirteen pounds!

The boys' lunch accounts were in the negative. Edward's teacher actually sent me an email offering to look into free or reduced school lunches. If the kid doesn't tell me he's out of lunch money I don't give him lunch money. The warning emails for a low balance are actually set up to go to JG's email. I sent them each in with checks for $100.00.  That should get us through February.

Friends came over for dinner tonight. We're going to start a new Star Wars RPG. This will be something fun to look forward to, though it defiantly won't be the same with JG gone. 

I started training with a personal trainer last weekend. Tomorrow will be my third session. His name is Shawn. I think if he had hair it would be red. He's wicked Irish. I say that because I learned he's from Maine. Shawn is going to help me get better at my pushups. More to come.

Tomorrow is the Super Bowl. Zachary is excited his old favorite team (Patriots) is playing his new favorite team. I'm sure JG is going to make a point to wake up early to watch the game. 

My housekeeper, Jackie, has been coming every other week since mid-December. These last two weeks at work have clarified my limitations - I need her every week. 

I need a lot of things every week. Mostly sleep. I could really conquer the world if I had some. I can't sleep right now - JG and I are not on the same planet today. I hate when our orbits are out of sync.