Cookie Sheet

I've been home six days. The longer I'm home, the longer I feel I've been gone. The last few days have been trying. The boys have been wonderful - and other than having to raise my voice only a couple times transitioning with them has been easy. JG and I are fumbling through the motions. Right now, I know he's upset with me because there wasn't any cuddling before bed.

We had Sunday breakfast at Frank's Diner. The boys were really excited to take me and the food was amazing. We sat at the bar and we watched all the food being cooked. Everything was delicious. Nothing could have been cooked better than what it was. We all had a great time.

Then we went to the commissary where I used great restraint - pardoning the produce aisle. I was rushing as quick as I could, knowing JG wanted to get home to the Giants game. Sometimes being and aisle or two ahead of the cart. I kept brushing off the annoyance of not having a place to put my picks, and we were finally at the end of the aisles. A baby whole turkey into the basket, then I trod down the outside meat row and JG disappears. The kids had been sent in time out at the front of the store while we finished up and for ten minutes I was holding three packs of meat pacing butcher's row looking up the aisles for a glimpse of JG.

When we finally joined again I lost it, in the line, in the checkout, in the truck, in my kitchen. We were discussing what went wrong and why at the commissary in the middle of me cleaning out and washing the inside of the fridge and washing the fruits and veggies we just purchased. I had thick cuts of blade steak to marinade for dinner and I couldn't find my cookie sheet. This wasn't just any cookie sheet. Practically, this is *the* cookie sheet in my kitchen. Restaurant quality. About a quarter of an inch thick with a one-inch lip ... steel. I got it from my girlfriend, Cheryl, who at the time had teenage sons, told me that I had to burp Zachary when he was a baby. Not one baby class I went to as a mom to be said I had to burb the baby. Well, it's missing. I sobbed and I sobbed and I sobbed to the point that JG took me to Williams Sonoma to buy a new cookie sheet. A wok, a wok utensil, a cutting board and mineral oil later I came home and made Yakisoba - the sauce from stratch. It was yum, tho, I've never had Yakisoba so i don't know how close it is to the real thing. In the store, JG asked me if the cookie sheet missing bothered me so much because it had sentimental value and I said yes.

Me blowing up like TNT about missing each other at the commissary really upset JG. I don't blame him. Despite being upset with me he was wonderful to dropped his game and show me the understanding and kindness to replace a kitchen necessity for me even though I had harped on all the negative things about the commissary shopping trip. JG said he'd be 'over it' in the morning. I hope so. I'd like to make it up to him.