Holidazed and Confused ...

Today I’m in Afghanistan “celebrating” my 33rd birthday. What’s funny is this isn’t even my first birthday at Bagram Airfield. Three years ago, I turned 30 here. The Army guys I was stationed with at the time bought some biscuits from the Popeye’s Chicken here and that was my cake. This year, we had pizza the night before as this year, like every few years, my birthday falls on Thanksgiving Day. So for me, today isn’t especially about my birthday, but rather, celebrating that a year ago today I asked Jennifer to marry me and she said yes. Believe me, I’m still just as shocked …

The day started early for me too. The aerial photographer on our team, Staff Sgt. Mike Keller, is flying in an F-15E Strike Eagle over Afghanistan today. It’s the first time something like this has been done over here, so it’s really cool that it’s our team involved. What’s also cool is that he’s flying with the 335th Expeditionary Fighter Squadron from Seymour Johnson Air Force Base, N.C., my first duty station. But Mike had to be at the squadron at four in the morning, so someone had to bring him. But it’s okay because he’s taking Yoshi up on the flight with him. Seriously, the next Mario Kart game needs to have a Strike Eagle as an unlockable vehicle. Missiles > turtle shells …

Driving back to the office, I saw someone running. Now, it’s great and all to want to stay in shape, but for cryin’ out loud, it was 4:30 in the morning, really windy and 25 degrees outside. Then I saw another runner. This one was wearing shorts. And that’s when it hit me. I don’t like *anything* enough to do it at 4:30 in the morning in 25 degree weather. I don’t even like cuddling with Jennifer that much. But then again, her feet are usually about 25 degrees …

And to be honest, I actually miss her cold feet. I miss the boys jumping on us as we try to sleep in on the weekends. I miss having to take the dog outside. And that was my second revelation for the morning. Even the less fun aspects of family life, it’s still my family life, and I really can’t wait to get back to it. So for my birthday, I don’t want candles; I’d rather light a fire in our fireplace. Because sooner or later, Jennifer will inevitably attack me with her freezing feet, and then I’ll know I’m home …

Weekend at Donley's ...

I spent the weekend following around the Secretary of the Air Force, Michael Donley, as he traveled around to several bases and visited with Airmen. It's cool because I did the same sort of thing last time I was deployed with Michael Wynne, the SecAF at the time. We went to like eight different bases and he spoke to hundreds of people. Everyone and their brother wanted a picture with him (okay, I did too ...) so my job was to said pictures. Which was a fantastic opportunity. Until my camera broke ...

Right before I'm supposed to get on the plane, the shutter and autofocus go out on me. So there I am trying to make the thing work and for the life of me can't figure it out. The shutter speed adjuster won't go past 250, won't autofocus and I have to double tap the button to take a picture. Can not for the life of me figure out what happened. So I had to beg, borrow and steal cameras from other public affairs offices, which were very helpful and generous, to do my job. But there were still times when I had to use my D3. So I had to manuall adjust for lighting, speed, focus and hit the button twice every time. Or as my fellow picture takers call it, photography ...

For now I'm just trying to get ready for my next trip out. I've got almost 3,000 pictures to go through because everyone wants their photo, which is understandable. I mean, even Yoshi was demanding I get his photo out ...

Actually the Secretary was pretty cool about it. But the best was while I was headed to Jalalabad (side note: it's my second time to Jalalabad and I wrote about it last time while I was there; mostly about how fun it is to say: Ja-la-la-bad). So there I am on the C-130 (ugh) headed out to J-bad and I take a photo of Yoshi in a seat. The wing commander from Bagram Airfield, Brigadier General Steven Kwast, asks me about my dinosaur companion and I give him the quick version of the story - our youngest son loves Yoshi, I'm taking pictures of Yoshi's adventures around the Middle East. So he says to me, "Hey, you should take a picture of him with the three-star!" So yeah, Lieutenant General Gilmary Hostage (my new big boss out here) took a photo with Yoshi ...

Back on the homefront, I've been trying to work with Jennifer on getting the boys on track with their schooling as well as maintaining our own relationship. I'm still very much learning how to be a husband and father and it's difficult to do this from afar. Sending home videos, emails and pictures of Yoshi help. But next year, when she's deployed and *I'm* the one at home scares the heck out of me. I mean, I can barely feed myself, how am I going to take care of them?! But one issue at a time, right? My biggest challenge has been staying focused on my job because I'm so concerned about what's going on at home. But then again, I've had focus issues all week. Stupid camera ...

Past, Present and Future ...

A couple of days back from Afghanistan and I'm leaving right out again. That's how these things go: "downtime" is spent getting ready to leave. Had a few days to recover from the solid days of work at Bagram. Unpacked, did laundry, repacked. Made some decisions, made some obserations, made time to catch up with an old friend. Also had some wine ...

After much deliberation, consternation, contemplation and acceptification, we've decided the best thing for our family is if I reenlist for another four years in the Air Force. The increasing number of deployments is daunting, but the bottom line is I still enjoy what I do in Air Force Public Affairs and that was always the agreement I made with myself. Only it's not just my self I have to worry about anymore. As part of my reenlistment, I'll be eligible to sign up for the new G.I Bill benefit that allows me to transfer the money for college to a wife or child. Basically it's how we're going to send at least one of the kids to school. I figure it's the best gift we can give them for putting up with the months they spend without us. Although if you ask Zachary or Edward, I'm sure it would be a video game. Most of the time I would agree ...

Had a disagreement with my team, however, on how best to perform our mission. There are still some major differences between the way Combat Camera and Public Affairs operate. But despite some growing pains, I think we're slowly starting to understand each other a little better. More than that though, I've done a little soul searching about deployments in general. Or at least the ones I've been on. I do a lot of grousing and griping while I'm deployed. And I always go home with a lot of memories and stories. However, I really need to cut back on sentences that start "Back when I was here last ..." or "When I was deployed to ..." Ugh. I'm becoming THAT guy ...

So my goal is to try and find some perspective that next year I will more than likely look back at my time here as a fulfilling experience, despite any temporary personality conflicts. Because back when I was here last and when I was deployed to Afghanistan, that's how I ultimately came to consider those experiences. Oops, I did it again ...

While deployed, every emotional response amplifies because of physical distance, time difference, connection issues, etc. Every small misunderstanding becomes something so much worse. Jennifer and I have already worked through our fair share of what would be normal relationship difficulties, but they've been worse and more difficult to find resolution to because of our being separated by so much. It's absolutlely our faith in each other and our family that is getting us through those days. And when it isn't relying on each other, it's relying on our friends. Especially when they buy you a drink ...

I ran into my old pal, Rick Wagner, here yesterday. Rick joined the Air Force a couple years after I did. We used to hang out when we lived in Humboldt County, California. We had a lot of the same hobbies and our dads were both in the Coast Guard, so I've always liked Rick. And now here we are in Southwest Asia. A small world it is. Unless you're Yoda ...

Penny for your thoughts …

Like a bad penny, Bagram Airfield keeps falling in my path. I was first here in 2004 for about a week and was sitting in the passenger terminal when we found out about Pat Tillman’s death. I came back in 2006 to work for the Army’s 10th Mountain Division. Now I’m here again and much like our home base, it’s odd to see what’s changed and what’s the same. For crying out loud though, they still have the lame wooden shacks for people to live in. In the winter, there’s no drainage, so it floods between the buildings. Then when it freezes, the pools of water ice over. Seriously, you can literally skate from your room to the bathroom when you wake up at two in the morning to go to the bathroom. So it breaks up the monotony of walking at least …

But our team is here to work with the 455th Air Expeditionary Wing Public Affairs office. A good friend and colleague back in D.C., Capt. Dave Faggard, is in charge of the shop, so at least we’re in good company. I went to advanced contingency skills training with him and two of his Airmen before our deployment, so it’s kinda cool to see them again. He and I discuss our career field and its future alot, especially when it comes to the use of social media. He's the guru on it for the Air Force and we see eye to eye on a lot of what needs to be done on both the officer and enlisted side of things. Although the good captain and I have found a way to work out our differences …

Our first story was to cover the military working dogs here. Bagram is unique in that it’s the only base out here where Airmen provide all the perimeter security. Part of that is done by the dog handlers and their canine companions. The folks who work in K-9 units are typically really good folks and are a staple for community relations visits back home. Everyone loves seeing them and their dogs so when we do base tours, we always try to hit up the K-9 folks. They’re also a lot of fun to take pictures with. Except when the handler misses the dog coming out of the tunnel and 80 pounds of German shepherd fury comes barreling at you and your camera, only you don’t see it coming ‘cause you’re just trying to keep the image in focus so it comes as a total shock when the camera slams into your face and you’re on your butt just trying to figure out what the heck just happened. You know, for example …

The other cool story out here is the F-15E Strike Eagles. The squadron out here is one of the squadrons I used to cover back at Seymour Johnson Air Force Base, N.C., so it’s awesome to see those guys again. I actually took pictures of one of the jets during a refueling mission last weekend, so was able to give the squadron a disc of photos, which they loved. They have a sign on their front door that says “The mission is the 18 year old with a rifle. All else is support” and they have a great attitude about providing cover for the guys on the ground. No fighter pilot ego at all; just straight talk about doing what they can to keep troops safe. Because usually, you know how you can tell if a fighter pilot is in a bar? He’ll tell you …

We have a few other missions that we want to cover while we’re at Bagram, so we’ll see how that works out. We’ll be here for a couple more weeks and hopefully cover the Afghan elections, which in a larger sense, is symbolic for why we’re here to begin with. If it works out, we’ll be headed out with the provincial reconstruction team. When I was here last, I did a lot of missions with those guys and it was one of the highlights of my last deployment. We’d go into villages and bring them food, supplies, medicine. I’d bring a bag of candy with me to hand out to kids. It still amazes me that they’d run through snow with no shoes on just to get a Jolly Rancher. Then again, so would my kids. Then again, so would I …

Speaking of the family, Jennifer and I are struggling through communication missteps. The Internet connection here is pretty spotty, so we don’t get to email or instant message each other very much, let alone send photos or anything else. It sometimes takes me ten minutes to open a single email. Other times it can be pretty decent, but it means getting up at 2 in the morning. That’s the one thing that makes deployments easier. We don’t need more bingo games; we need bandwidth …

But when we have been able to talk, we’ve worked out a lot of issues. The time difference (8 ½ hours in Afghanistan) and distance away (a gazillion miles) only compound the usual difficulties that creep up in a relationship. I’m still learning how to be a husband and a dad, and fortunately, everyone has some advice. My “favorite” has been “the first year of marriage is the most difficult,” since Jennifer and I are spending most of ours away from each other …

In the meantime, I’m just trying to stay busy, as it helps the time pass faster. There are lots of good stories about Airmen out here, so I’m just trying to do what I can. And sometimes that means letting the aforementioned 80-pound Doggy of Doom chew on your arm …