Baby!

The negative pregnancy test before JG left for Japan made me cry. Why was the world against us? But March 30, with JG on the phone, First Response said positive and the blood test confirmed it. The week has been filled with calling family and friends - not wanting those closest to us finding out on Facebook. The projected due date is Dec. 23. Zachary, whose birthday is the 22nd, said "I don't want to share my birthday!" while laughing. Edward and Zachary say they want a brother. Quite honestly, it would be nice to buy pink for a change. Every baby shower I've attended to welcome a baby girl my gift is clothes for that very reason.

Deployment Eve

Our last family dinner we took Zachary, 8, and Edward, 4, to our favorite restaurant for the first time - JR's Stockyards Inn in McLean.

The restaurant has always been a special place for the two of us to enjoy great wine, melt-in-your mouth red meat and intimate conversation. Our first dinner as husband and wife, still dressed as bride and groom, was at JR's. It was also here that we took his mother, Martha, to break the news that our dog Judy, the boys and I were moving into JG's two bedroom, two bathroom condo, just weeks after our first date.

About a week before JG left, Zachary inquired about where we go on our dates and said that he wanted us to go on a date as a family. We decided to share our special place with the boys. To our delight they were so well behaved. Both ordered the 8 oz prime rib cooked medium rare. Edward finished his entire place and half of his chocolate cake! Zachary ate all but a third of his steak plus a side salad (minus croutons and some lettuce) and a chocolate & white chocolate mousse.

During dinner I could barely look across the table at JG without getting teary. I know how lucky I am and how much I was going to miss him. The last two days have been the hardest for me, evident by my meltdown on Facebook yesterday. I'm overextended in all aspects of my life right now - the stress of single motherhood again, arranging for desperately-needed home repairs and upgrades, and a 50% manpower cut in my immediate work section. In between life as I know it now, how do I maintain closeness with my husband and share things with him without causing him to worry?

Monday, Zachary told me he missed Dad. It was so great to know he was talking about JG and not his 'father.' Zachary said he was sad that Dad was going to miss the beginning of third grade. Yesterday, Edward was talking about how Daddy is gone for six weeks. I corrected him and said six months. "Yeah - that's like 20 days," said Edward. I kept saying "after Christmas." Let it snow.