Holidazed and Confused ...

Today I’m in Afghanistan “celebrating” my 33rd birthday. What’s funny is this isn’t even my first birthday at Bagram Airfield. Three years ago, I turned 30 here. The Army guys I was stationed with at the time bought some biscuits from the Popeye’s Chicken here and that was my cake. This year, we had pizza the night before as this year, like every few years, my birthday falls on Thanksgiving Day. So for me, today isn’t especially about my birthday, but rather, celebrating that a year ago today I asked Jennifer to marry me and she said yes. Believe me, I’m still just as shocked …

The day started early for me too. The aerial photographer on our team, Staff Sgt. Mike Keller, is flying in an F-15E Strike Eagle over Afghanistan today. It’s the first time something like this has been done over here, so it’s really cool that it’s our team involved. What’s also cool is that he’s flying with the 335th Expeditionary Fighter Squadron from Seymour Johnson Air Force Base, N.C., my first duty station. But Mike had to be at the squadron at four in the morning, so someone had to bring him. But it’s okay because he’s taking Yoshi up on the flight with him. Seriously, the next Mario Kart game needs to have a Strike Eagle as an unlockable vehicle. Missiles > turtle shells …

Driving back to the office, I saw someone running. Now, it’s great and all to want to stay in shape, but for cryin’ out loud, it was 4:30 in the morning, really windy and 25 degrees outside. Then I saw another runner. This one was wearing shorts. And that’s when it hit me. I don’t like *anything* enough to do it at 4:30 in the morning in 25 degree weather. I don’t even like cuddling with Jennifer that much. But then again, her feet are usually about 25 degrees …

And to be honest, I actually miss her cold feet. I miss the boys jumping on us as we try to sleep in on the weekends. I miss having to take the dog outside. And that was my second revelation for the morning. Even the less fun aspects of family life, it’s still my family life, and I really can’t wait to get back to it. So for my birthday, I don’t want candles; I’d rather light a fire in our fireplace. Because sooner or later, Jennifer will inevitably attack me with her freezing feet, and then I’ll know I’m home …

Peanuts, Cracker Jack ...

We’re heading into the bottom of the seventh inning on this deployment. Just a few more weeks to go and I’ll be heading home, or as Jennifer calls it, “Back where you belong.” Can’t really argue with her on that. A little bummed, however, as no one sang “Take Me out to the Ballgame” for us …

But we did have lots of treats. My team had some extended downtime between missions for the first half of November, which was nice because we’ve quick-turned from one mission to the next for a while now. And when we got back from Iraq, I had a bunch of care packages waiting for me from family as well as my contacts from AnyAirman.com and Operation Write Home. And yes, we even had thematically appropriate seventh-inning stretch snacky snacks …

Jennifer sent lots of Halloween treats like stuff to decorate our own cookies and lots of candy. So while I didn’t get to dress up and go trick-or-treating with my sons this year (one of my top five regrets during this deployment), I did get to celebrate my favorite holiday a little bit. She also sent a pirate piñata. I swear my intentions were good and I wanted all nine of us in the combat camera section to get a turn to swing at it. But I went first and, armed with a baseball bat, in one swing showed the pirate why ninja are better …

The time was also really good for our family. Jennifer and I did a lot of pre-reconnecting - talking about things we want to do once I get home and even settling of some old arguments. Difficult at times, wonderful at others, positive all the way around. Marriage at a billion miles from each other is a lot more difficult than either of us thought it would be. But we’re growing and making progress as a wedded couple. Despite the times when we want to choke each other, we are still good about acknowledging our love for one another and maintaining the goal of resolving our disagreements. Even when I’m not as correct about things as I usually think I am …

Right now I’m hoping to get home a few days after Christmas. I asked Zachary point blank if he wanted to open presents on the 25th or wait until I got home. Without missing a beat, he made the family decision for us and said he wants to wait until I get home. I’m really proud of him for that decision and it means a lot to me that he's willing to wait so we can enjoy the day as a family. Being a dad from a billion miles away is just as trying as being a husband and the time apart has been really difficult for the boys, too. And really, all I want for Christmas is to be with my family again. Santa better come through for me on this one too. He still owes me for that LEGO train set I always wanted. And if not, well, he can ask the pirate about my batting skills …

Home Stretch

JG's homecoming is way overdue if you take into account how much the kids and I miss him. I've gone back and forth between feeling anxious and excited about the day he comes home. In some aspects the distance has made us stronger, but in other ways weaknesses are quite apparent. More than anything else I crave proximity.

Now some random thoughts.

Until last night, I forgot how much I enjoy the Burger King fish sandwich. You have to remmeber to order it with cheese. It comes with lettuce. It's the size of a Whopper. Yum.

I hate checking the mail, mainly because our mailbox key needs to be inserted and turned "just right." Also, more than 90 percent of it is junk mail that clutters the house.

What's your favorite line of the month?

1. Drove kids to Massachusettes this month to visit two sets of Grandparents.
2. Air Force Communications Workshop coordinator - huge success.
3. Drive two to Massachusettes -- arrived exhausted.
4. Blew 60 watt fuses in the heater/AC system.
5. Paid $60 to be told I didn't trip the breaker all the way.
6. Nodded off only an hour into trip home with boys.
7. Stopped for night early afternoon got in two good naps before checking out before midnight.
8. Two naps cost three charges of $100 each on my debit card.
9. Idiot manager at Comfort Inn.
10. Competent sales director at Comfort Inn.
11. USAA thought Comfort Inn manager was an idiot too.
12. Bacon, cheese and eggwhite omlets are yum. Don't judge.
13. Good friends made it possible to go on temporary duty in San Antonio: Mike, Heather and Julie.
14. Julie made video of Judy's limp.
15. Judy is my dog I nickname JuJu.
16. Heather sat JuJu first, before her dental surgery.
17. Doing lunch with Heather tomorrow.
18. Picked JuJu up last night, busted kids bedtime.
19. Edward loves to nap in car.
20. Zachary won't stop talking in car.
21. "If Daddy's not here to protect you, I will and if I'm not here to protect you, Edward will. I love you, Mom, so much," said Zachary.
22. It didn't make me cry, I had tears rolling down my cheeks before that.
23. Motivated to become potential bone marrow donor.
24. Zachary says the things I told him is 80 percent processed, he's still "typing" what adopted means in his mind.
25. Crosswalk complex discovered between Market Square and Riverwalk. Gitty over diagonal crosswalks.
26. Blinking man bad, blinking hand bad, solid man bad.
27. It's nice to be needed, but my phone wouldn't stop ringing.
28. Came home to a freezing house at 5:30 a.m.
29. RAGE. I hate being cold.
30. Bought two packs of fuses at Home Depot.
31. Lectured by home depot man that fuses are hard to come by in the spring.
32. Visited with Grandfather, he survived lunch with the great grandsons.
33. Wonders why there are pillows stacked on top of the step stool in the kitchen right now as I write this.
34. JuJu hurt her paw upon transfer from Heather to Julie.
35. Julie posted picture of JuJu on Facebook.
36. Heather's last blog post is old.
37. Can't figure out why MY mail key won't work, but the spare Mike has does.
38. Thankful the drip in the bathroom is gone.
39. Entertaining the idea of a bathroom rennovation party.
40. Car goes to shop AGAIN tomorrow.
41. Paying off two debts tomorrow.
42. Found blue hairspray to be Marge.
43. Loves the electric blanket.
44. Misses JG terribly.
45. Indy, the snake, is hungry.
46. Bought a wool coat. It's cream colored. Matched brown or black shoes.
47. Lost an earing back. JG bought me more already.
48. Suitcases still aren't unpacked.
49. Car inspection due. Oil change due. Due for wipers.
50. Commented on 30 blog posts. Hope it makes people smile.
51. I have three Halloween costumes.
52. Raynauds turned my right elbow blue too.
53. Zachary has ringworm. Luckily it's not a real worm. I looked it up.
54. Forgot how much I love quiche.
55. Will only eat sausage pizza with bacon. It's a texture thing.
56. "NO!" to Zach's question of "Do you miss my birth dad?"
57. Blended lattes at Cold Stone suck.
58. Wait staff at Boudros sucked twice.
59. Almost forgot to pay the mortgage.
60. DTS worked. Weird. (Defense Travel System)
61. Lost every Mortal Kombat game except one ... a nearly flawless victory. I rock.
62. JG has Halloween care package waiting on him. Hope he gets back to his deployment home base soon!
63. Admired her seamstress friend Liz's handiwork.
64. Bought a bag of dark chocolate Saturday and there's more than half left still. ODD.
65. Hates pre-made breakfast sandwiches at rest stop Burger King.
66. Can't figure out why they don't make biscut sandwiches at the rest stops.
67. Upset the gasoline pump operators didn't wash her windsheid.
68. Zachary stepped on my bad ankle as I was tucking him in this week.
69. Became a Mary Kay consultant ... in it for the discount, their skin care is amazing.
70. Irriated Starbucks at rest stops aren't open 24 hours.
71. Started preferring dunkin donuts coffee again.
72. More than 400 hits on our blog since we started keeping track.
73. Ate half a jar of mini sweet pickles as a snack at work.
74. PFB, you know who you are, witnessed my success against Adobe.
75. Still haven't played my voice messages from last week.
76. Gray is not natural. I don't care how old you are.
77. Salon employee told me she "liked my shape" asked if I needed a brazilian and offered me wine.
78. FEDEXKINKOS open 24 hrs. Pay attention Starbucks! 6 a.m. is too late for hard core road tripests.
79. Flat boots can be sexy.
80. Lamb chops. Mmmmmmm. The accompained red wine went to waste. Bitter bites.
81. Blockout new game addiction.
82. Pulled Professional Development Guide into plain view.
83. Excited I found the honeymoom photos.
84. OfficeDepot closes at 6 p.m. on Sundays. They suck too.

Feeling KRABby, thinking ahead ...

Kirkuk Regional Air Base, or KRAB, has to be one of the worst names for an installation ever. "Where ya headed?" "Oh, I've got KRAB." Or for the more insulting, K-RAB (rhymes with Ahab, as in the captain) and is used by the same type of folks who call our "A-Rab" hosts "Ragheads." Ah, tolerance, understanding and partnership. Then again, I was stationed at Seymour Johnson ...

Kirkuk is home to one of the places where Americans are training Iraqi pilots so *their* air force can protect *their* airspace and we can get the heck outta Dodge. We covered this mission at Camp Taji (thesergeantsbuzz.blogspot.com/2009/07/so-this-is-what-iraq-is-like.html) except with helicopters. Here they're flying Cessnas for intel gathering and some other stuff. Some people fly Cessnas for fun or even in races. In high school, my orthodontist took me up in his Cessna. Wonder if he knows he could be a pilot with the Iraqi air force if that making six figures a year in Southern California doesn't pan out ...

On the whole, Kirkuk is pretty nice. It's one of the places where we'll be drawing down troops sooner rather than later. Progress! It's a lot like Taji in that the mission and attitude is focued on getting Iraqi training programs up and running so we can leave and not come back. People here aren't burned out and bitter like in Baghdad. We aren't shelled daily like in Balad AKA "Mortar-itaville." Where's the salt ...

It's still really nice to have a break from the rigors of deployment, however, and we had a great visit from the USO this week. They brought a bunch of cartoonists on a tour through the Middle East and stopped by here. They were all really nice and went out of their way to talk to Airmen and Soldiers stationed here. It ended up being a fantastic experience for me for a few reasons. One, I got a really good story out of it (www.kirkuk.afcent.af.mil/news/story.asp?id=123173934). Two, Rick Kirkman, who draws "Baby Blues" did some drawings for the family - Hammie with a lightsaber for Zachary and Hammie holding Yoshi for Edward; Darryl and Wanda for me and Jennifer ...

But I've also decided on what I'd like to do once I get out of the Air Force. I've long been a fan of the USO and what they do to support military members and their families. And on these tours, they bring photographers and entertainment directors to make sure everything is taken care of for the celebrities who come out to help us forget, if only for a little while, that we're in a war zone. So I think I want to be one of those guys. Working for the USO would have its own rewards and I'd still be doing the writing, photography, media and community relations kinds of things I enjoy in the Air Force. Of course, that's not for another 12 years or so. But it's nice to have an idea of what I want to do once I get promoted to the rank of civilian ...

The three hats I wear ...

The message on the screen offered a ‘thank you’ for choosing to watch a movie in their theater. As if there’s another choice. But here at Joint Base Balad, Iraq (because it would hurt the feelings of the other services if continued to just call it Balad Air Base … and don’t get me started about the new “Joint Base Andrews Naval Air Station”), I actually did get to sit in a real movie theater and eat real movie theater popcorn with real movie theater popcorn butter. Or “butter,” as it were. Now if only I could have watched a real movie instead of the predictable and trite “Surrogates,” starring Bruce Willis and playing at a theater near you. Unless you’re deployed, in which case it’s only playing at *the* movie theater …

So we’re back in the ‘raq to cover a couple of missions. Of all the things that make this assignment difficult, the traveling is the worst. Well, that’s not entirely true. The being away from home is the hardest part, obviously. But the hardest part of the actual job is the traveling. Being in a variety of countries and working with lots of different people is cool, but the actual flying part takes its toll. It routinely takes us an entire day, if not more, to get anywhere from our home base. Not because the places are so far away, but because air transportation is so unpredictable and prone to outright cancelation. And here I thought BWI was bad …

What it does give is a lot of downtime either waiting in the passenger terminal or on the long flight itself, where, because space is so cramped, you’re absolutely glad they use Dial. Because of the limited number of flights at any given time, most of them are packed with people, cargo or both. Reading is difficult because there aren’t exactly overhead lights. There’s no beverage service either, unless the loadmaster is good enough to say, “Hey, Dude, you want a water? It’s in the cooler over there,” but even that is the exception rather than the rule. We’re allowed to bring our own food and drinks, but there really isn’t much room for more than a single bottle of water for the entire five-hour-plus flight when you’re carrying your helmet, body armor, rifle, pistol, ammo for both, first aid kit, bag of clothes, bag of work stuff, partridge in a pear tree …

So with all the downtime, there’s lots of time to think, reflect, daydream, ponder, reverie, fantasize, recall, imagine, consider and muse about all sorts of things. Like, for example, all the words you can come up with that are synonyms for “think.” Also gives time to remember how much you miss your wife and kids. And because we’re traveling every other week, if not more, there’s a lot of time for that missing. My pal Tech. Sgt. Joseph Kapinos (read his blog at combatcorrespondent.blogspot.com/) recently lamented on how he’ll explain to his daughter the time he missed watching her grow up. I’ll be honest; I wonder how Jennifer and I will be able to justify all our time deployed away from our boys. “Wonder” … missed that one …

At home I see myself wearing three hats – Husband, Dad and Airman. It’s the requirements of the my Airman that has me literally wearing three hats out here -- one for each of the uniforms I wear, depending on the mission. All those hats and uniforms make it a real pain to pack. Especially when I’m trying to bring some extra snacky snacks along for the flight and can’t fit them in my bag …

But I also know that it’s because of that Airman hat that I’m able to provide for my family and wear the other two. Conversely, it’s wearing the Dad and Husband hats that make me a better Airman, I think. And though I’ve been an Airman a lot longer than I’ve been a husband and a father, I’m finding my priorities have changed dramatically in life. No more thoughts about bases or assignments I wanted to apply for that would take me all over the world and away from home. Not now that I share my home with someone other than my snake. Or rather, OUR snake. And OUR home. OUR dog. OUR television. OUR bed. HER kitchen, but I don’t mind that so much. Besides, MY PlayStation …

But I don’t have the answer as to how we explain why we have to be away so often. We haven’t told the boys yet about Jennifer’s looming deployment next year. I just hope that she’s assigned to a specific base and doesn’t have to travel as much as I do. Jennifer’s idea of packing for a trip involves at least five bags. And that’s just for overnight …

For now, however, it’s mind on the mission and not how much I’d rather be having lightsaber fights with the boys, playing Scrabble with Jennifer or doing anything together as a family. Can’t dwell on missing them while we’re out on a patrol in an Iraqi village. “Dwell” … that’s another one I missed …

Edward

Edward and Coral got 'married' sometime last year. They go to the same daycare together. Edward just turned five last month and started Kindergarten. He's a 'klubmate' in the before and after school program so he doesn't get to see Coral as much anymore. Edward was so excited when he saw Coral's mom last week and told her about the note I put on Coral's cubbie and that Coral would need her pajamas for the play date. (I think this is the only age I'll be able to laugh at that.)

Saturday, the boys and I met Coral's whole family at a nearby elementary school to play. Edward had a blast showing off on the monkey bars and avoiding the 'lava' while Coral ran around saying Edward was her true love and that she was a princess. When it was time to say goodbye, Edward reciprocated the mint Coral had given him at their greeting with Goldfish. He opened the mini bag of crackers by himself. The bag was ripped too far and I knew that he knew it was going to make a mess. After handing the bag to Coral he reached into our truck, literally pulled out half a box of tissues and handed it to Coral's mom. "Just incase," he said.

Tonight Edward had a karate test. He earned his yellow belt which means he's proficient at three defensive measures. The tests are very private and I couldn't observe him. After his test we waited about 20 minutes for Zachary's class to be over and Edward still had enough leftover energy to run up and down the sidewalk repeatedly. I suspect they could drill him harder next time.

Speaking of time, Edward knows that his Daddy comes home right after Christmas. The last couple of weeks he's stopped asking when Daddy comes home and instead has asked how long it is until Christmas.

Karate seems to be helping Edward pass the time. And when he's not obsessing over his new Spiderman alphabet writing workbook, riding his new bike or lining up his cars in a perfectly straight line he's either watching or playing a video game.

Edward is absolutely fascinated with the Ghostbusters video game. It plays out like the third movie that never got made, so I'm told. He watched Daddy play it and win right before he deployed in June. JG had a Ghostbusters patch made for Edward and put it in a package that arrived this week for the boys.

The awesomeness of the patch wore off quick as Edward realized Daddy sent 'cereal.' A box of Fruity Pebbles, and one each individual servings of Fruit Loops, Cocoa Puffs and Apple Jacks. I hate sugary cereal. I grew up on plain Cheerios, Crispix, Kix, Shredded Wheat, and Corn, Wheat and Rice Chex. And Daddy knows I refuse to buy the 'good' stuff for the boys.

Edward loves being told he is a good listener and that Daddy and I are proud of him. Tonight it was easy to give him praise. He had taken the four boxes of Capri Suns (only 100% juice in this house) and put them in the fridge. Then, Edward said he was going to put he empty boxes in the recycling bin for me outside in the shed. He came in and got four drinks out of the fridge and laid each on a coaster in a perfect row on the end table. I'm guessing he got the fourth one for Daddy. Edward also keeps checking the freezer to make sure the two birthday cupcakes are in there for Daddy.

The new five-year-old got ready for bed without being coached and was satisfied with one bedtime story. Zachary was out cold for the night before I had even went in their room to tuck them in. Edward looked over at Zachary and said if Zachary was sick in the morning that Zachary could stay home with me and he would go to school like a big boy.

Awe.